Letters to Juliet

By Onyinyechi U.

*Always check with your parents before following any advice or suggestions in this article. The Navigator is not responsible for any consequences resulting from following our advice.

“Letters to Juliet” is back! This Valentine’s Day, Juliet will be answering some of your questions about relationships and love. Below is the fifth edition of the Navigator’s top advice!

Hi, so I really like a girl and want to ask her out. But anytime I mention the fact that I like her, she kind of gives me the cold shoulder and says, “I get that you like me but we’re just friends.” But it’s really annoying to me because I know for a fact she likes me–her friends have told me this. Got any advice?

It sounds like you’re hearing two different messages: some people have told you that she likes you, while she seems to be giving you the opposite impression. To be honest, I think you should wait until she personally confides in you before trying to ask her out. Whether or not she actually likes you, it’s important to respect her boundaries and wait for her to let you know her true feelings. 

Dear Juliet, I am struggling to know where the line is with having standards. I have a lot of standards, but I don't know at what point you should give grace and be willing to work through something with someone and looking for someone who is already okay in that area of life? I don't know if that makes any sense :')

Hi! I think I can guess what you’re saying here–how high should our boundaries be when considering a relationship? Because I don’t know your exact situation, I can’t give specifics, but I can offer a few tips here. If you are a Christian, it is crucial that anyone in a close relationship with you must also love God and follow Him. Strong relationships share the same values. But in other areas of life–for example, personality differences–you may just have to be patient and recognize that you are both imperfect. Of course, if you two are following the Lord, you can feel encouraged that He will give you the grace to grow past your flaws. 

How to like someone while moving across continents as an MK T-T

Wow! As someone who has lived my whole life in the same town, I can’t imagine what it’s like to move continents! Thankfully, with technology, you can continue to communicate with each other. If you are already friends, maybe you should schedule regular video calls where you can hang out. It may not feel the same, but this is a way to keep connecting even when separated. 

Why do guys never mention if they have a GF?

Not being a guy, I don’t know! But in some cultures, men may be expected to show less emotion, which may involve being reserved about their personal lives. That could explain why they would not mention their girlfriends. This is an interesting question, but you might want to send it on to Romeo. 

I know someone who I think of like a brother and he knows that, but I think he has a crush on me, but I really really don't want to go there. What can I do to let him down easy?

I think you need to be honest with him. Even though it may hurt at first, this can keep both of you from emotional damage in the future. He may be disappointed, but this is better than entering an uneasy relationship where the boundaries are not clear. Maybe, you can talk to someone you trust (such as your parents) first, so that they are also aware of what is going on. Eventually, encourage a private meeting where you guys can discuss what is actually happening. You don’t want to lose your friend, but it’s more important that your relationship is defined by respect for each other’s feelings.

Dear Juliet,

I am a teenager who has committed to staying out of relationships until I am college-age and better able to handle the emotions that come along with these kinds of things. However, I am struggling with fear for when the time does come for me to allow romance into my life. I like the thought of having someone to spend my life with, but I'm afraid of being hurt in a relationship. Sometimes I feel like I can serve and love Christ better without a spouse, and I wonder if I ever want to pursue romance. I don't know if this desire for singleness comes from fear, though, or if it is biblical. How do you think I should go about figuring out whether being single will help me serve Christ--or if I will be able to serve him better as a married person?

Thank you for all your time and effort answering these questions.

This question is personal for me, because I still struggle with the fear of being rejected in a relationship. Marriage is beautiful and godly, but there are many temptations that can destroy it. In Matthew 19, Jesus teaches the biblical restrictions on marriage and divorce, prompting the disciples to say that, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry” (“Matthew 19 NKJV - - Bible Gateway”).

In response, Jesus states that for some, becoming an eunuch is a way to serve His kingdom. Here, I believe the passage implies that marriage is not for everyone. Jesus does not sweep His disciples’ concerns under the rug, but He tells them that certain people will remain unmarried while fulfilling their mission for God. Now, I can’t tell if that is His plan for you. Only God can–so seek Him! He knows your future and will give you wisdom to walk in His will. 

What do I do to surprise my crush with since they live overseas?

Depending on where you live, you might be able to send your crush a handwritten card, especially this Valentine’s Day season! Or you could have a gift shipped to them. I suppose it depends on whether your crush is aware of your feelings. If not, it might not be appropriate to be sending them surprise gifts or messages. But if the other person knows about your interest, it is fun to surprise them with mailed presents or cards.

I have a very close friend with whom I have been friends for many years growing up. I have a major crush on her and have for a long time. I think that it may finally be time to tell her how I feel, and many godly people in my life are encouraging me to, saying we could be a really good match. We've been growing closer than ever before recently and seem to be hitting the limits of connection that friendship alone can support. However, I am terrified to tell her for fear of losing her as at least just a friend if she doesn't have feelings for me. I know the chances of that are low, just because of how long we've been friends and the nature of who she is, but I find that fear hard to get over. Any thoughts on overcoming that fear? Also, some things in recent times have made me wonder if she does have some level of crush on me, but I can't tell, so I'd also really appreciate any advice on reading girls to figure out what things are or are not potential signs of interest in expanding our relationship.

Every girl is different. When I liked a guy, I tried several ways to get the message across: shy grins, tacky compliments, and significant glances. (He didn’t seem to understand at all.) Meanwhile, other girls may be more subtle in expressing their interest. Also, I didn’t actually know the guy I was trying to communicate with, while she is your close friend. She may share your reservations about possibly damaging your relationship, so maybe she conceals her feelings for you. On the other hand, you don’t want to project your desires onto her. If she hasn’t said anything to you on this subject, don’t make assumptions. I would say that you should keep being friends, while privately seeking God about this topic. And, continue to consult trusted older people! They may understand her feelings even better than you do. It’s a complex issue, so I can’t give more definite advice except to keep trusting in God and prayerfully considering your elders’ suggestions.

Juliet, how is your love life going?

Ahh…now is the time to ask whether Juliet follows her own advice! Well, I have struggled with some temptations over the past few years, especially because I had a crush on someone who wasn’t a Christian. The person was really nice, friendly, and devout (he was following a different religion). But I knew that my feelings for him were not right, so I had to practice saying “yes” to God and “no” to my desires. Currently, I am enjoying life with my family and seeking a better relationship with God. 

I know you may have been hoping to hear about Romeo at the windowsill, but I’m deciding to take it easy right now! The Bard himself would agree, reminding us: “Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast” (“Romeo and Juliet Quotes”).

So, to all of you: slow down, trust God, and have a happy Valentine’s Day!

Onyinyechi U. is a senior living in Pennsylvania with her parents and one of her two siblings. This is her fifth year at NSA and her third on the Navigator. In 2025, she made her debut as an author with The Journey, a collection of Christian poems. In her free time, she enjoys listening to classical music. 

🗣️Advice, 🗓️Seasonal, PopularEIC NSA2025-2026, February 2026 Publication